No fault shit day.

   Now I'm not one to complain about my shitty problems unless I can make folks laugh😂.  Yesterday was about to be a day I would just over look, as best I could, and  move on.  This morning I got my laugh.

  Change in meds, Wednesdays sadness and now the hatred of our country and many things happened to other folks that started my downward spiral.  Thursday night I got the call, my run-in shelter for the pasture was finished and they wanted to deliver Friday.  I was instantly happy it was about time being 6 weeks late and instantly pissed. The pasture was dry and there wouldn't be a problem delivering the shed. 2 weeks earlier I told the Amish builder that they needed to get the run-in done because when the rain started they could not deliver because of the mud. Again I was promised by the end of Oct. Fingers crossed the rain would hold off.  Nope that was not to be. Halloween night was the beginning.  We had at least 4 good rains with a bunch of long drizzles.  Now there is standing  water and mud in the pasture.  The delivery folks wanted to deliver any way thinking we could make it happen and it was going to rain again next week. 

 I love grass and with all my critters I have less and less.  My plan was to block off the newer grass area in the pasture during  the Spring to keep the grass back there.  Well the run-in was delivered not exactly where I wanted it but it's done.  I can only hope one of the critters don't fall in any of those ruts, I may not find them till Spring.  

  On top of all that 1 of the Emus got frightened with all the commotion and jumped the fence. GAWD! I didn't know if I was going melt down right on the spot as that Emu was doing 50 mph straight into the woods. I knew I needed to stay with the delivery folks and help but Damn how am I going to get that Emu back. About an hour later she showed up and I begin prep work to get her back. Nope that just sent her back into the woods. I tried again later that day when she came back. I hate to keep doing the same thing with out results.  Hell I live on an island she will end up back here again.

  It was a long drawn out process to get chains off the wheels of the truck and the trailer/tools taken care of so they could leave. The whole time I was scanning the woods hoping I would see the Emu.

  She showed up just as they where about to leave.  The sound of the truck and mud being slung around sent her back into the woods. It's now been 3 hours and she is stressed and Hell so am I.

  I went in the house made coffee and warmed up as I scanned the internet for Emu sightings.  It was hard to  keep my butt in the chair as all I wanted to do was go window to window around the house looking out for her.

  4:30 came quick and feeding and putting up the critters for the night was my last hope of getting her before night. She did show up for dinner time but she was not going to eat if she could see me. Now she is totally camouflaged when she gets a few feet in the woods. I gave up as I would never find or get her that night.  I was out trying to photograph the Northern Lights and scanning the woods with my gazillion lumens flashlight.  Nothing, I believe she found a place to hide and layed down.  

  I went to bed early as the worries were making me sick.  I woke early just as the daylight was breaking by a knock on my window. I rolled over to see the Damn Emu pecking my window.  I all most rolled right out of bed I was laughing  so hard. The whole time I was getting dressed I was laughing as it appeared she was hungry and wasn't waiting for me to get up.

   I used my handy pink bowl full of food, with a rope to coax her back in the pen. She went without a problem.  Now to get her back without getting my ass kicked was the beginning of a great morning. GAWD I'm way to old for this.

Something is out there!!!!

    I have had problems in the last 2 years with foxes thinking that I am the local KFC.  Now they hunt during the day when the chickens are out and about. Running the woods, road and fields looking for yummy bugs and what ever they can scratch up. It is mainly during the Spring when the pups are born. The slaughter of my chickens starts to taper off late summer and then stops till the next spring. 

    Now the fact that they are taking my chickens just pisses me off but they always take the ones I like the best. Every night I count the chickens after they return to the coop and that is when I know if Mr. fox has been around.  I have on occasion been out side when the little bastard come in the yard and been able to chase him off. Then a couple of times I came out just in time to see my dead chicken been hauled off through the woods.

    I wine about this problem often till one of my friends gave me a motion activated animal deterrent post that is solar powered. Now it has different sounds that can be used. I thought the sound of dogs barking and a shot gun going off  would work the best. Now I still don't know if this thing works or my fox problem has tapered off for the year.  But the one thing I can say is it has become very annoying as the chicken hang out in the back and the damn thing just barks and shoots all day long.  

    I find myself trying to ignore as much as possible. I do play my TV louder these days. I tied shooing the chicken out front but they go right back in the woods behind the house. I guess they like that sounds. 

    A few weeks ago I put up all the animals for the night and went in to watch TV. It was getting late and I though a snack before bed was in order so out to the kitchen I went only to see I left the light in the garage on. I put on my shoes and went out to turn it off.  I got half way between the garage and house the the damn animal deterrent thing went off. Now there is nothing more unsettling in the middle of the night than to here that thing go off and all the animals are locked in the barns. I felt like I was naked in the middle of a room full of people. I did not know if I should run or just freeze. Run Hell, which way do I run. So I froze and started to yell, get the hell out of here.  When the noise stopped I moved slowly toward the house.  When I got inside I stayed there and that damn garage light stayed on all night. I don't scare to easily but when my Spidey senses kick in I can get unglued. I watch too much TV.

 

 

     

Chicken Math, It's a real thing. 7.2.24

    I Don't often tell about my chicken math problem as folks that don't have chickens don't understand. But this time it plays into my next problem.  

    Back last Dec. I was thinking about my chickens and how I lost so many to the fox I would order some chicks for the Spring. I had a couple of breeds that I really wanted.  The problem started with I had to order from 2 different hatcheries. As I am searching for what I wanted I read that delivery cost would be 35. But if you buy 15 shipping is free. I love a deal so I shop till I find 15 chicks and put my order in for Spring delivery. No I still do not have the other most desired breed I wanted so I found a hatchery that had them all to ship about same time.  Now again I see 35$shipping unless you buy 15. OK another deal. 15 it is. Well shipping dates where not looking good so I put them a month apart.  I feel so lucky I save 70 bucks. Now I start thinking but I will have 30 chicks. I'm dead.     

    

    I'm in Tractor Supply getting chick starter food because the first batch is due the next day. They have a ben of bantam chicks and I love bantams. As I'm looking at them (just to look) the Manager a friend walks by and says I'll let them go for a dollar each because I need them to be sold before tomorrow. No I don't need anymore chicks.     A few minutes later she comes back and says if you take all of them I let you have them for .75 cents. Now my brain starts in "bargain" You know how much they cost what a deal. I'll take em. As I am checking out the clerk says you get a 25% discount. Wow I just hit the loto those birds cost me .57 cents I was in heave all the way to the car when I counted them and learned there were 10 more birds and 15 due the next day. Shit this is going to be a fun time. Well the next day the birds came but where all dead. Not sure what happened but it does happen sometimes. I called the hatchery and they said they would replace the order next week. 

    

    The next week came and again the chicks died all but 2. Again the hatchery replaced the order. All the time the discount bantams are getting big and older. Not good to mix birds of different size and age as it can cause problems that lead to killing each other. It took almost 2 weeks for the second replacement but they arrived all alive and doing well. I now can not mix the two groups so out come the second dog kennel to house them. And the next bargain group is due 3 weeks.

    Ok so now I have the original 15 plus the 2 survivors and 10 discount chicks. Again I'm at Tractor supply to get feed and the manager tells me she has a chick that does not have feathers on it back and she can't sell it so she must destroy it. No I'll take it and see if I can get it on a good path to chickenhood. now lets add the free be bird to that number. The last shipment of birds arrive all well plus they put in a mystery bird and a couple of extras to make sure I got all 15 birds. Yes I got 18 birds  for a grand total of 46 bargains. And I have to keep each group separated. Now my daughter from NY is coming for a visit at Memorial weekend. I got the small school house ready for the first 2 groups of birds and they all seem to be doing Ok. The kids came had a great time then chaos started  after they left.  Emu running loose in the middle of the night, goats ran over me with the golf cart now the next excitement was headed my way.

    Turns out all was not well in the little red school house. those discounted bantams boys where bulling a couple of my polish hens because their feathers cause them to not see and that makes them nervous nellies. So they get picked on. This behavior was noticed by me when I let them out to free roam a bit and the bantam boy chase them under the little red school house. Hell I didn't know they could even fit under there. I could not get my arm under there to reach them. I got a stick to see if I could push them out. No way it drove them under it further.    It's now 2 days later and they have not come out and I can not reach them by no means.  In comes the neighbor with the big boy to left the little red school house up so I could get them out. I hope I survive this shit. Now them nervous nellies live with me till I can figure out what to do with them.

Hit and Run 6.30.24

     Life has it up and downs. Mine has been total chaos for at least 2 weeks. First chasing a Emu in the middle of the night, Then the cows just bust down the fence when they want out. Hell they bust it down when they want in. The land is so wet the post won't hold and the cattle panels are so bent up they won't be straightened out at all.  

    One day I hear cars honking and run to the door to see the cows in the road and traffic stopped in both directions.  I throw on my shoes and run to the garage to grab the golf cart.  The cows have got so strong I am powerless to move them. I tie a rope on them and tie the other end to the golf cart and off we go. They can be so stubborn that they just put on the four legged brakes and the cart will just spin its wheels or stop all together. Now they are food motivated so I grab some grain to keep them following the cart as I am pulling them along.  Folks have jumped out of their cars to help as some of them are needing to catch the ferry.   One cow in the yard one cow running back to the road. Then the horse and goats decided to get in on the fun. What a shit show it was. The goats where chasing me to get the grain and the cows where running from me so they could run free. I finally captured one and was dragging  it back to the pasture when we got close he made me dump the grain all over the cart. I got him up to the gate and he went in with a little resistance.  By then the horse came into the yard and so did the other cow.  Traffic moved on and off I went to get the other cow. The goats keep trying to get the spilled grain  and keeping them off the cart so I could get the cow was exhausting.  I made it to the gate with the cow using his braking power and goats trying to jump on. I  park right in front of the gate so I did not have too far to drag the damn cow.  As I was trying to get one in the other was shoving me to get out when  Wham O the goats had jumped on the cart and hit the peddle and I got run over with the golf cart. What can I say about being hit with my own golf cart. I screamed so many cuss words the goats ran off. Good thing the damn cart is electric and stopped as soon as the goat ran off.  My foot got run over and I twisted my knee. I just knew this was how I was going to end my life. I crawled out of the mud and stood up and realized nothing was broken.  Oh and now the cows are out again. 

    As I walked back to the house licking my wound a song came to mind.

It's a Goat, my Lord, in a flat bed cart slowing down to run me over. This island would have some good laughs for a long time after that. 

Ghost Story 5.31.2024

 STORY TIME 5.31.24

I sleep with my head right on the window sill, (that's a story for another time.) Last night I had the window open even though it was kind of cold. I was in a dead sleep when I woke to the sound of someone walking on the gravel of the driveway. I turned my head and stuck my face up to the screen trying to focus my eyes to see who was walking down my drive. The moon had not come up yet so focusing through the screen without my glasses and in the dark was difficult to say the least. Now I am getting nervous when a white figure started to come into view. WTF I didn't know if I should run or scream. My very skeptical mind is saying no such thing as ghost but WTF. The figure finally came into full view as the cow approached my window. Are you fucking kidding me, what the hell are you doing out. I glanced at clock reading 2:30. I stumbled around in the dark getting my shoes on. Grabbed a little flash light and went out to find the 2 cows and Elliott just eating grass. It was a colossal cluster Fuck to get these guys back in the pasture. It took the golf cart, a halter and tiny hand held flashlight to get the job done . Riding around in the golf cart and running in the wet grass I was froze chasing the damn critters as they where throwing a huge tantrum. The noise we were making I'm sure the whole Island heard us. Now that's a couple hours of sleep I will never get back.

Who knew 5.30.24

 Strange happenings led me on a very long and exhausting 2 hr. manic hunt. It started with me filling the car with recycling. I flattened all the boxes and flopped them in the back. At that moment the garage door opened. WTF the goats look guilty so I start yelling who has the remote. I went out shut the door and started back to the car, half way back the door opened again. WTF, the goats are just chilling chewing their cud. To put this in perspective the remote has been missing for a week. My brain goes into gear and I now think it's in the car and me messing with the boxes got it going. I get to the car look back goats aren't chewing they are in the garage eating chicken feed . Yelling all the way back to the garage, Get THE FUCK OUT. I chase there asses out and close the door. Half way down the door stops and goes back up. I now need to search that car. So I unhook the door and shut it. All the time I can hear the door motor running. I spent the next 30 min searching the car for the remote. Nothing. I start in the house an hour goes by I'm pooped and everything is torn up. I still hear that damn motor running so I go and flip the switch in the power box. I'm a hot sweaty mess and company pulls in. Recyclable all over the ground animals running everywhere. I really am exhausted so we chit chat for a while and she gets some eggs and leaves. I finish getting animals under control which is a whole days work crammed into 30 min. I went in sat in front of the fan and cooled off. After a short break I went in to do more laundry. I folded the dry cloths and proceeded to put the washed cloths in the dryer. After half emptying the washer I hear a clang of something other than cloths in the washer. To my shock it's the remote that went through the wash and was the cause of the garage door mystery. And it is still working. I had to lock the door again and turn power back on, but the damn thing is working just fine. Who knew you could wash your garage door opener

Hey! Your Emu is running down the road.

June 2024

 One of the Emus was let out oh her enclose, I later learned it was by the cows. At about 2 or 2:30 am there was knock on my door, in my dream state I did not respond very quick then the cow bell hanging on the door rang out with a yell of "your Emu is running down the road" . Now I roll/jumped out of bed and stumbled down the hall. I was confused because mine are in their enclose. My neighbor was on their way home from a night on the town and after getting off the ferry they spotted an Emu running down ferry road. They new I was most likely the only one on the island with them. I grabbed a flash light and my neighbor and I headed to the pasture. I discovered the door wide open and Emus gone. I was then greeted by the cows and Elliott all excited to see me. My heart sank as I was combing the pasture with my pocket size flash light to see if I could see them. I found one running around so off we went to run the roads looking for the other Emu. We all gave up at around 3:30 am and I went home to bed.

A little past 6 am came the second knock at the door. In my sleepy stupor again made my way down the hall bouncing off the walls all the way. One of the ferry crew members came to let me know the Emu was down close to the ferry running the road. I jumped in the car and off I went. I seen tail lights up ahead of me that was driving like he was following my Emu. I caught up to the guy at the ferry and the he told me the Emu ran down a dirt road not far back. By the time I got turned around and headed back the Emu was back on ferry road headed back toward my road. She seemed really tired and confused. I drove behind her as she walked back. She would stop to check things out as she moved along at a snail pace. Being so early on Saturday morning we only encountered 2 car that were headed to the ferry and with some flashing head lights and driving in the middle of the road they they stopped and waited till we passed. All was going slow but good but my worry was how I was going to get her to turn left on my road. A few slow mo donuts at the 4 corners and going the wrong way a few times we got around the corner. She had to check out a couple of neighbors yards before we got home. When she saw the other Emu she stopped and made it into the yard.

Getting her into the pasture without getting my ass kicked was a whole different story, she went to the fence where the other Emu was and laid down by the fence next to him. I needed coffee and a rest before tackling getting her in the pasture.

After a break and coffee I went out to see if I could get her in the pasture. I tried food no luck, she loves to be showered with the hose but that didn't work either. All I did was make her move around the outside of the pasture. I was afraid she would take off again so I left her alone to destress. Another cup of coffee later it started to rain. I found her laying in the woods. My attempt to get her in the pasture with all the other critters out there was not going to happen. I opened the gate to the back yard and tricked her in there. Shut and locked her in .

The rain lasted till the next morning. I had a good night's sleep and rain over I had to move her. I knew it was going to be painful as she would kick my ass.

Well the murderous attempt on my life was over. The Emu is now in the pasture where she belongs with her besty.. We both survived the ordeal. It only took 2 band-aids, 2 Ibuprofen, an ice pack and a lot of Bengay rub. Oh and Benadryl spray, as the Emu is kicking my ass the mosquitoes were eating me. The Emu suffered some feather loss and scrapes. Mostly it was her dignity that suffered the most as she was drug across the yard with those murdering feet hog tied. She most likely will hate me till the end of time. LOL