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Tuesday, June 30, 2020

Running of the Goats




     If you have never used mass transit then you may not understand how sometime life can get complicated.  I live on an island so my transit is a ferry to mainland.  It is a very short commute, it takes longer to load the ferry than it does to cross over the river.  Never the less missing the ferry means another 30 min. to cross.  Being retired is Ok for this problem unless it is an appointment you are trying to get to. 
     Now the goats are mostly a wonderful distraction from all the chaos in the world at the moment.  But sometimes, maybe more than I want to believe they are a pain in the ass.  I love them but when push comes to shove there is no shoving from me without a lot of work on my part.     There is a real love for the garage by the goats, as that is food storage.  The big 2 car detached garage is use to store the car, tractor, mowers, miscellaneous and the food.  Hay is not the big draw it is the grain.  Chicken food is a fav. and of course it will kill them to get into.  Sweet feed for the horse is another fav. Not as toxic but still if they eat enough, not good for them and can kill if they get to much. Damn goats eat like they are starving so they will eat 25 lbs or more if not stopped. 
     Getting the car or anything else out of the garage is a huge undertaking, when the overhead door opens they all race to get in the garage as I am trying to get out or in.  I have a foot and a half on either side of the car when I back in the garage which is not problem unless the goats are trying to squeeze between the car and the door way.  It sets off my sensors and all I hear is beeping and goats running  everywhere, add 50 + chickens and now you have chaos. Now getting out is a matter of prep.  Get into garage turn on car fasten seat belt and open the door.  The race is on.  I try to hug the right side of the garage and going slowly I open the driver door to narrow that space that they can squeak through on the left.  Now it never works.  I have tried to bump them with the door but they just duck and go under the damn thing.  So remote in hand, car in park, I have to chase them as they are running around the mower and a then a lap or two around the wheelbarrow. On a good day this is exasperating. Now I am having some knee, leg and back pain that I have to go to therapy for, making this jaunt around the garage miserable.  I'm cussing all the way.  I hope my neighbors can not hear this because no language is barred from the activity. This is not a quick activity and if I need to make that ferry for an appointment I need to start early. Some days speeding down the causeway and hoping they see me coming and hold for one more minute for me to make it, is cause for great stress.  It's a 50/50 crap shoot if you make it on that ferry or not.
     Getting the car back in is just as nerve racking and tiring but now you add a lap or two around the car as I am trying to chase them back out. They do not go together they split up and go in different directions hoping one will score and the others can get in on the spoils of war. This game of catch me if you can is not for the weak of heart.  As I get one out, then go after the other 3, the first one come back in. I can literally chase them till the old leg gives out on me. No way to get them to all go out at the same time. I am taking this personally as a direct attack on all my senses.  I thought the Damn Dogs and kids was bad. Huh! they can't hold a candle to the Damn Goats. 
     In two weeks 2 more goats arrive.... I keep telling myself that I just love them and can not wait till I have 6 goats.  I think it's too late to stop lying to myself.  I will have to learn to swear in a different language, maybe that will help. Really I was hoping for meds for this lunacy I have willingly got myself into.