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Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Goats vs Ford




It appears that the goats are way smarter than I thought.  I have in the
past always just called out “kids” and they came running from wherever
they were. Sometimes it took them a few minutes to get back as they would
be deep in the Nature Preserve or the square mile of woods that loom
behind my place.  I never worried about them because they do not attract
predators of the day time variety. Night time would be a different story.  
      As time has moved forward they have taken a liking to the weeds along
the roadside.  I now worry as people are speeding like hell to get to the
ferry. They don’t want to wait another 30 minutes for the next one.  I have
tried many things to no avail. Keeping them out of the road has proven a
complete failure on my part. I have tried to keep them in the fenced pasture and three of them just jump the damn thing. I have blocked the gates as this is their preferred point of exit. It is always good for a day at best.  I spend most of my day chasing them or the chickens to keep them from the road. I have put up electric fencing, enticed them with food, literally chased them waiving and banging whatever I can get in my hand. I get them back and put them in the dogs fenced in area, as it has a 5 foot fence that at this point has not been jumped. They have wised up to my tactics and now will not come to me.  If I try to run down the drive to chase them the chickens all follow me and now I have the chickens and goats in the road. Chasing 5 goats and 51 chickens is a frustration that consumes me to the point I just want to shove a pencil in my neck.  
     A few days ago I decided that I need to stop the madness and just get
into the car and drive the 100 feet or so to the road honking the horn all
the way.  The results were amazing as they just ran like hell to the barn.
Well it was only amazing two times, then they just looked at me like I was a
fly buzzing my horse.   Yesterday they are all up at the road and it is raining
like End of the world, need an Ark kind of rain. I now have to put boots and a
raincoat on , then run to the car across the barnyard. This is not as easy as
it seems because those boots are muckers and I need a wall to lean on. 
That raincoat is a poncho and getting it over my head with hair clips in, lets
just say this is taking me longer than it would if I just ran up there with all
the chickens in tow.   
     As I get into the car I see the little bastards start trotting down the
middle of the road.  By the time I get down the drive, honking all the way
they are not turning into the yard they are on a straight course to the curve.
I know that who ever goes through that curve will not see them.  Now I am
testing that little Fords turbo. It works great I sent gravel and dirt all over
the place as I spun out. Thought for a minute I was going into the ditch,
honking all the way. I got the car under control and all I see is ass holes and
tails moving at lighting speed. I hit the brakes so I wouldn’t hit them. They
jumped the ditch that ran along the front of my place as if they were  Evel
Knievel, jumping the canon. I backed up and turned around they were in the
barn when I got down the drive, honking all the way. 

     Later I was asked if I had herd all the honking...

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